So that's what you call 'em

When I was looking through some old Vogues the other day I realized I hadn't shared a very weird & awakard incident that occured a few months ago between me and some socialite.  A few months ago, I needed to get a replacement Bodum French Press from Sur la Table (I promise I am not getting any reimbursement of any kind from these two companies.  However, if they are willing to give me a reimbursement at some point I  will gladly take it) for my finiciky lesbian "holier than thou" then-roommate.  I broke her french press, and since I didn't want to piss off the bitch, I offered to replace it. So I went trailing off to the SoHo Sur La Table.  Ohhhhhhhhh SoHo.  It used to be cool, diverse and artsy.  But it's really just a bunch of young Upper East Side refugees pretending to be cool, diverse and artsy when they really just have sticks up their asses.  Back to the story;  I go into Sur La Table, go to the resgister and ask the sales person (a Cooler Than I'll Ever Be Asian Chick) to check and see if they have this specific size of french press.  As the CTIEBAC goes to the back, I wait at the register.  Another salesguy ( a somewhat overweight, but seemingly nice computer programmer type) starts ringing people up; and in enters anonymous socialite number 5467B (As if I'll ever give you the person's name.  But one hint, let's say she's all about safety). Now I've seen this socialite in Vogue and the New York Times a lot, and everyone talks about how her pedigree really isn't up to par.  Nevertheless, I figured because all of the shit she gets she would be a somewhat down to Earth person.  I never go up to celebrities (I'm not sure she's quite up to celebrity status, but still a noteworthy person) so I figured it might be ok to approach her.  Plus, I don't mean to toot my own horn here; but I'm a decent looking person, dress fairly well and could create full sentences. So, I figured it would be ok to say something to her.  So I was pretty much dead wrong on all of my accounts here.  I turn to her and say, "Hey aren't you that socialite?"  She bristles, does not look in my direction and doesn't respond.  I say "excuse me, aren't you that socialite?"  OF COURSE, at this point the CTIEBAC has returned to witness this mess of a situation I put myself in.  #5467B turns at me looks like she's about to cry, and yells "I AM A JEWELRY DESIGNER!!!"  I sheespishly say, "ohhh ok.  I just know that I see you in Vogue all of the time" to which #5467B giggles takes her things, looks me up & down in anger (because I dared to speak to her) and leaves.  I look at CTIEBAC and say "I didn't realize calling someone a socialite was an insult"  to which CTIEBAC looks at me and giving about an 1/8 of shit about the incident; informs me that the french press was not in stock.

I suppose jewelry designing has now replaced handbag designing as the go-to socialite make believe career.  Only in New York would someone have a problem with being called beautiful & rich. In some way I can respect #5467B for that.  But the bitch is confused, she's a socialite.

The End is Near

This was probably a perfect summer.  We had only four days break over 90 degrees with little to no humidity.  It rained a normal amount and the weather was pretty much always beautiful.  It was wonderul.  Perhaps this was New York's reward for dealing with that awful Polar vortex.  I personally have a theory that there wasn't really ever a "Polar Vortex".  I think meteorologists didn't know what what the hell was going on, made up some crazy ass name for the freezing cold weather we were having, and then were generally shocked when people bought it. 

Anyway, I finished my second round of treatments for my undisclosed chronic illness.  I had to tell my job about it because I was just missing too much damn work.   They were understanding and seemed considerate so it really wasn't the worst thing in the world.

The friggin scariest thing happened to me this week, though. This old homeless geezer ran after me with a cane!  Ok, so yes, this may sound hysterical (and I'm sure I'll laugh about it at some point) but it was terrifying.  On my way out of my office building, he asked me to get him some food at the nearby diner.  I was on my way, felt white person guilt (even thought I'm black) and returned with a bagel. He was talking to some other girl, and I was like, "ummm here's your muffin." His response?   " I should punch you in your face!" He throws the muffin back at me, and starts yelling.  Both the girl and I walk away.  He then starts running after me cursing at me and yelling about how he should hit me, wiith his cane in the air.  Ok, let's first discuss that this asshole is running... WITHOUT USING HIS CANE.  Bastard. I scream back at him and then he walks away.  I was literally shaking when I walked back to my office.  I just feel so stupid. I never give things or interact with these types ever.  This was my first time doing anything like this.  Why on earth did I think it was ok do it now?  I just dont know.  It's so weird how these things can affect you though.  I watch when people on TV get attacked and it frightens me; but theres always a voice in the back of my head thinking "that will never happen to you." I suppoose it can happen to anyone.  But hey!  That's New York!

Right now I'm thinking "end on a positve note, end a positve note". Right now my new summer goals are to finish reading all of Shakespeare's comedies and watch every Academy Award best picture winner. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it.  But I can try!

Nothingness

So I've been really out of commission lately.  I've just been busy doing nothing.  My chronic illness flared up and I had to cancel both my improv and film class this summer.  Disappointing, but I suppose worse things can happen.  I am really thrilled to be finally living in NYC and being on my own terms rather than living in the suburbs and living with my parents.  Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I am very well over the age of 18, but I just had to constantly tell them where I was  going and when I'll be back; and that's just annoying as an adult.  So I'm just glad to be in my studio.  

Anyway I really need this summer to be productive.  I've had to drop everything and I'm realizing now that the summer will literally be over in just a few short weeks.  Back to the daily grind, ya know?  So right now I'm going to try and focus on completing other goals and enjoying my summer. I'd really like to take a trip, even if its a little one before the summer is over.  I should also probably try and finish my VO demo.  I've been working on it an a half assed fashion for years now and I really should complete it.  Perhaps I should also read a book or two?  All in all, maybe for once I should just stop over analyzing and relax! 

#Fail...#TryAgain

So today was improv.  I love improv.  Well I love it when the stars align, God likes me, and I am actually listening, being present, and coming up with decent ideas.  But then there are days when I'm just kind of an asshole in class.  Not listening, going out of my way to be funny (rather than letting it happen organically), and just being a general spaz.  Today was a mix of a good improv class and a bad improv class for me.  For some reason I'm acting like such a pussy in class, I don't go up first, and I don't make bold moves or choices.  Things have been not so great since I told some of my class members that I have been taking improv for awhile at a different theatre.  Since I'm now in somewhat of a beginning class right now (at a different theatre), I now feel an intense pressure to be the best or at least, good.  And I'm totally failing at it.  Whenever I'm feeling pressure my mind just goes blank.  Why can't I be a confident, relaxed, normal person like everyone else?  What the F (yes, I know I wrote pussy earlier) is wrong with me?  Hopefully I can get better as time goes on but it's going to take A LOT of practice.  Really it's my focus that's off.   Who knows, I didn't have coffee today, so maybe that's the reason why I'm a little off.  Anyway this is going to be "week - o -improv" with a lot of classes and shows, so maybe I'll be revitalized after that...or just exhausted!  Ironically, Aaliyah's, "Try Again"  is playing at The Coffee Bean right now, so maybe that's a sign!  Ok, now I'm just being lame.

Anyway, it seems the focus on my career is now underway.  I went to improv class, which is a woot woot, and I have a few more this week.  If I can focus, maybe thing will work out.

Oh, but how can I focus! There are some really great TV shows on right now!  Especially for the summer.  Right now, my new favorite is Chasing Life on ABC Family.  Why is it called ABC Family when it's really television for teenagers?  Well, I don't have an answer for that.  But most of their shows are awesome.  Anyway, this show, Chasing Life, is about this twenty something chick, April, who realizes she has cancer.  This annoys April because her life just recently became awesome: new job, hot new boyfriend, and family getting along.  The possibility of dying kind of freaks her out as well.  So April wants to keep the cancer a secret for as long as possible, but pretty soon she'll have to tell everyone.  I think I'm the most excited for this show because Scott Michael Foster is in it.  OK, so really I'm obsessed with any actor from the now defunct ABC Family show Greek.  So, I'm glad to see Foster on TV again.  Clearly, Chasing Life has become my new appointment television show. 

So guys, I'm going to go chase my own life and work on a few other things before I call it day!  It's been real. 

A Billion Years

It's been about a billion years since I've written on this blog.  A lot has happened, and nothing has happened.  I do not have a career in media or entertainment in any way, shape or form.  However, I have had a few close calls; which I royally fucked up.  A few flirts with realizing my dream, but alas, nothing has happened.  Well clearly, I've become so pretentious that I now write "alas" comfortably.  However, I've had a few jobs, but nothing that I love.

Don't get me wrong,  I know that I am blessed to have a job at all.  There are so many people that don't have a source of income.  But at the end of the day, I didn't move from my college town; leaving great friends, an amazing job, and a wonderful apartment, to be a secretary.  Nope. For sure, I moved to New York City to make something of myself and to be "someone".  And (I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with and.  But this isn't AP English, people. Get. Over. It.) that's going to happen.

So now that that's out of my system, I'm sitting here in Birch Coffee pondering my next move.  Currently, I work in education (more on that later) with some stints in finance (sooooo much more on that later) and real estate.  For awhile, I thought,  "Well, I like education.  Maybe I'll just settle on this and just deal with it. Work my way up, become a Dean or something (because clearly that's so just, 'oh, so easy', getting a PhD and all), and I'll be happy.  I'll have a decent life, steady work, perhaps have a family.  Then, if my kids want to go into entertainment we'll know what to do.  They'll be successful and it will all be OK."

But then, I discovered a college acquaintance of mine booked a lead in a Broadway show.  I was fanatically jealous. It was tough.  Although I didn't know this person too well, from what I did know, they are a good person.  Most of all, they're talented.  Why is that tough?  Well, when someone gets rewarded with something great, it's so much easier for me to call them a talentless creep behind their backs.  But this person deserves their success.  What can I say about myself?  Well, I've been directionless and lazy for a few (ummm 10?) years.  But now that's stopping.

I'm going to do this.  I'm going to act, sing, and write. It's going to be amazing.

But I'm over thirty.  I've never had a paid/ professional acting, singing or writing gig.  I still need to support myself with other work.  Have I mentioned I also have a chronic illness?  I also want my mom to stop helping me out with money (I know my life is so hard right?) and remember I'm lazy.  I'm so lazy it literally hurts.

So I'm going to use this blog as my gauge.  We're (haha as if anyone else reads this!!!) going to see where this year takes me.  I can only work and strive towards the best.

In my downtime though, there will be Soap Operas.

Oh how the year goes by...

So it's pretty much been a year since I originally started this blog. So many things happened.I finally got a job as an administrative assistant. It pays well and the benefits are great and everything. The only thing is, I hate it. The people are mean, no one talks to me all day and when they do they treat me like I'm their slave or just an idiot. It's completely sedentary and ive gained tons of weight. I just HATE it. But it pays well and I need a job to pay all of my bills. So I guess I'm gonna have to keep it unless they fire me. I am thankful for a job though, I just wish was a perfect one.

Also since last year, soap operas have been on a major decline as of late. I need to find a new title.

I've been trying to get my acting career going but it's been tiring and exhausting. It's too much with my damn commute and my full time job. Am I ever going to get break w/ that? EVER?


Okay well today was a craptastic day at work because I made an error w/ the office bitch and I want to forget thatthis day ever happened.

-
J

Finally a paycheck!

So once again it's been over a month since I've written in this thing.  I finally received a long term temporary position as a temp at a financial firm.  The people are waaaay nice, it pays super well, and they pay for my lunch.  However, it's boring as hell.  But I guess I'm going  to have to get over it, if they decide to keep me perm.  But I'm not sure if they're even going to do that.  I know I should be happy that I have a job, but I really know I won't be able to make any friends here.  The only down to earth people are the
40+ ers and all though I don't age discriminate; the ones with kids aren't usually the happy hour types.  Oh well...

I've also made a decision that I'm going to pursue acting as much as I possibly can while employed.  I'm not sure what my tactics are going to be, but I feel I do have some direction, and at least that's a plus

What I'm really missing right now, is my daytime television.  Would I give up a paycheck for daytime television.  Ummmm...no.  Not all.  But I do kind of miss it.  It is so outlandish.  I can't believe Oprah has a sister that she never knew about!  I'm pissed that I missed that.  Also, I need to know if they ever solved that paternity issue on One Life to Live. I guess I'll have to YouTube that.  However, I've gotten really into the Real Housewives franchise more than ever though.  Most especially Beverly Hills and Atlanta.  For the exception of New Jersey, I find these two to be the most entertaining.  I think one of my favorite Housewives is Kandi Burruss (spelling?)  she just seems so down to earth and cool.  And she always thinks of an appropriate low key comeback when someone is annoying her.  Damn, I don't remember the insult but I remember when she told NeNe Leakes, "good thing you don't get paid for thinking" which was hysterical. Gotta love Kandi.  And as much as I hate to say it Kim Zolciak (spelling?) is the show.  She is such a marvelous, sparkly, Dolce and Gabbana-wearing hot mess. But I love it.  I'm not sure if the show would be as appealing without her! And , I am totally on team Camille Grammer.  She gets a lot of crap for having all of those nannies, but I'm quite sure every other housewife in BH, UES, Palm Beach, etc. raise their kids like that.  I think they just needed to pick on someone on the show and she was that person.  What I would really love is if they got Wendy Williams to do the reunions.  Not that I don't love Andy Cohen, because I really really do. Although, I feel he lacks the pizzaz he has on Watch What's Happening Live.  He just doesn't push the Housewives for the answers.  Sometimes he looks frightened, I don't blame him I would be too.  I just think Wendy would be better for the job.  She wouldn't take the crap.

Anyway, that's my schpiel for the night.  I wasn't feeling too well so I stayed in.  I'm trying to think about a good story I can pitch to a college magazine.  If anyone knows of any good ideas let me know.  See ya!

Update!

Well no one reads this blog but I will update it, since I haven't written in over a month.

Sooooo I did do the play (in the undisclosed city that isn't New York) and I am really happy I did.  It was not beneath me at all and was a great learning experience.  I had a very dramatic and serious role, which I never had the opportunity do before, and I was really able to stretch myself as an actor.  Although it was unpaid and with a tiny tiny theater company it was the most professional production I have ever been associated with. Plus, I really needed the break.  2010 was probably the worst year of my life, and I really needed to decompress, and just get a way from it all.  But eventually, all good things come to an end.

During the Holidays I was able to get some temp work and was able to work at a few companies.  Two financial and one fashion company.  The fashion company was amazingly cool and the people were nice.  It was a gig that lasted only a day but a super cool experience. The other two were mediocre but I was able to get some money and pay my bills so I'm not complaining.

Since January I have been working hard core to find a permanent job.  I went on three interviews this past Monday.  One interview was to be a receptionist at a staffing agency, the second to be a receptionist at a financial firm, and the third to be a administrative assistant at a media company.  My feedback from the first interview was that I was too professional and too reserved.  What the shit is that?  First of all, lets talk about the woman who interviewed with me.  She left the interview multiple times to speak with someone on the phone. When she apologized I laughed it off, and went back to what we were discussing.  I professionally joked around with her and smiled and laughed.  However, she told my staffing counselor that I didn't have a sense of humor. I'm not sure if she was initimidated by my devastating beauty or my quick wit (ok, ok, I don't believe those were the reasons) but, "'sumpin's up w/ dat". Regardless, I'm sure it wasn't the right fit for me anyway.

The second interview, was seriously the weirdest interview I have ever been on.  I interviewed with two people. One was slightly unprofessional but she was ok.  The other, had the biggest stick up her ass.  Plus she cried before the interview!  Why do I know that? Because her eyes were still red and tearing.  Crazy.  Then as I told her I pursued acting after college, her first question after that was "Why didn't you get a real job after college?"  I told her, "Because I pursued acting."  She responded, "OHHHHH"! RIGHT!!" Then she says, "Well we really need people to be here on time, because I have no tolerance for lateness."  I swear to God, the way she said "tolerance" sent a shiver up my spine.  For a second I thought she was going to slap me.  I thought to myself, this place is CRAYZEE and I haven't heard from them since.

The third interview?  Well the guy had gray crooked teeth and the place smelled so I don't really care about that one.

So that's the update. In a few minutes, I may write another post to keep this thing current.

That's the end of that...

Well I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week.  I have mixed feelings about this.  While it did seem like a nice place to work, and the money was good, in the end I think it was kind of good that I didn't get it.  I would have most likely ended up being miserable there.  It wasn't part of my media backup plan so I can only hope that something else will work out for me.  I'm going to do that play then.  It is a little beneath me, but I could use the practice, the exposure, and another credit on my resume.  It's all good.  It's gonna be a lot of money to travel there but hopefully it will be worth it.  I just hope none of the people I went to school with are in it.   God, I hated the hoity toity people in my theater department.  I'm pretty sure they believed their shit didn't stink.  However, I will just have to deal with it if they are in the play.  I also contacted my old temp agency in that city so I could get some temp work while I'm there so maybe I'll be able to do that.  Get some moolah in my pocket.  In other news, someone did reach out to me at an ad agency--and I think that's great. The woman I spoke to over the phone was a little uninspired, but I wouldn't be working with her anyway.  I would be supporting a team, and that's a little intimidating, but I think I could do it.  They said there would be absolutely no opportunity for growth, but I think it would be cool to get my foot in the door someplace like that.  So there are a lot of opportunities in my future nothing solid but I do feel positive today.  That's it peeps.  Seacrest out.

10 Things I learned while being unemployed...

Hello my faithful readers!  Yes all two of you!  (According to my stats, I have a reader in Australia.  Is that true?) So, it has now been over a month since I left my craptastic job, and it has been quite a learning experience.  A very hard, shitty, learning experience.  On to the list:


---
10.  Soap Opera characters give their children THE WORST names.   I mean why on earth do the writers give the characters such awful names? Names like Starla, Babette, Dodo (OK, to my knowledge, no one has been named Dodo on a soap) Do people really name their kids this? (I mean real people. Not celebrities)  Whatever happen to nice names like Sophia, Brittany, or Christopher? Names us common folk can relate to.

 9.  There are some HR people (this goes for casting directors and agents as well) on the mindset "this is New York. New Yorkers are tough.  I'm gonna be tough on you for no reason at all because this is a hard city."  I get it, New York is a jungle.  Only those of us who have been here for awhile see it for what it is.  Not the Gossip Girl/Sex and the City place you see on TV.   (It's much more like Law & Order: SVU.)  If I don't have a period in my resume where one needs to be and it pisses you off to no end, either don't call me in for an interview, tell me when you schedule me for the interview, or just point it out when I'm there.  Please do not BARK at me. Yes, I should have caught it before hand. However, do people have to be so fucking aggravating and harsh?  I DON'T THINK SO!!!!  But they feel like they must so that's that.



8. Proofread your resume. Multiple times.



7.  Starbucks is awesome!  OK, so I knew the coffee was great, but the actual experience can be fantastic as well. I needed a place to write and do some work before an appointment.   I decided to go to Starbucks for a few hours.  I bought a coffee and stayed there for about 6 hours.  Did they ask me to leave? Hell no.  On the contrary, they gave me samples of two of their newest Holiday creations. Which I thoroughly enjoyed. Plus the music there is kind of good. I downloaded 2 of the songs I heard while I was there ( a Josh Groban song and a Patsy Cline one).  Also, the people watching was great.  It was really heartwarming to see Starbucks employees treating every person in a friendly manner. From the fashionistas to the homeless.   Yay Starbucks!



6.  Having  a large amount of free time makes you think about stupid shit that happened in the past. I am so bored out of my mind at home;  I keep replaying my summer breakup.  Could the relationship have ended differently?  Probably not. I keep thinking about it because I am busy with nothing.  I also think about stupid things that happened in high school and college.  "If I would have done this, I could have more successful right now."  Who knows?  But I totally hate thinking about things that are out of my control.



5.  I am unemployed.  I live with my parents.  I have no car.  Many people would qualify me as a loser (at least on paper).  Being a loser, you really find out who your friends are.  There are certain  "friends"  who laughed and spent time with me when I was successful.   However, now that I'm a loser, they think it's contagious and don't want my loser sickness to spread to them.  So they'll be really busy, you know, until I eventually become successful again.  Anyway,  I found out I had a few of these " friends" in my life.  I also realized I have genuine friends as well.   When you tell a good friend you're a loser, they will either say "No, you're not," or "Yes, you are."  But they will always support you and never abandon you.  In the end, being a loser (on paper) helped me weed out unnecessary people in my life.


4.  I am constantly amazed at how many things go wrong during the 12pm news.  It's like they know most people are working, or putting up with their children and they just don't care.  Words on the screen are spelled wrong, (right, and I get a riot act for a fucking period on my resume) anchors are caught off guard, and the meteorologist says random inappropriate things in the background. My God, I should get a job doing the news at noon!



3. It's real easy to get fat.  Boredom=eating=getting fat.  Enough said.


2.  The world seems to have moved 5 years in the future, while I was only at my job for a little over a year.  MS Office 2007 is absolutely nothing like the MS Office of yesteryear.  I am completely lost when I'm doing an application and I feel rather dumb.  I have to remember that when I'm at any job I need keep up with what's going on around me in case I get fired and/or laid off.


1.  Being unemployed means I get to sleep late. Yeah bitches, I sleep till noon (then I watch the news.) Although, I have been through a lot, sleeping late is effing priceless.  You people may have a nice paycheck, but I'm sleeping when you poor slobs have to wake up at 7 am or earlier so THERE!  Ha!

One Fine Day

Happy Thanksgiving People!   Well, it's Thanksgiving in America anyway.  Today, I gave thanks for a great yesterday.   Yesterday I had a really great interview at a finance firm.  Which finance firm may you ask?  Ha!  Like I would ever tell and risk losing the chance at the job.  It's a reception/administrative assistant position and the money is great.   Nope it's not in the media or publishing nor is it an acting job; but it's a job nonetheless.  Maybe if I get it I could really get my life together.  Get a car, an apartment, and finally get my health together.  This could be good. So I am definitely excited.  The people there look cool as well.  They're younger and slightly more relaxed then the company I left.  Definitely not "fashion show, fashion show at lunch!" type of people which makes me feel a little more at ease.  The only thing that makes this bitter sweet is that if I get this job, once again I am putting my media and acting dreams on hold.   But I could really use the money to at least get an apartment and a few things done.  I suppose it's just never going to happen but I still have to dream and work on it in any way possible even if it's in a limited way, right?   I wouldn't be able to do that play I had mentioned, earlier, either if it's an immediate start.  Oh well, no one gets everything they want, but I guess I can hope.  I just want to live to my potential one day.  That's all I want.  Is it too much to ask for?  Oh well.  But thank God at least I had a a good interview.

Crazy setting.

So It's been awhile since I last posted.  Last week, I was lucky enough to receive a temp assignment for about a month.  I was thrilled even though I was being extremely underpaid for the job.  However, I was just happy to get some work.  It was a job at a creative company with heavy Outlook scheduling.  This, I wasn't used to.  And,  for whatever reason, during my first few days at this assignment my mind  switched to it's crazy setting.  Meaning, I pretty much forgot and/or didn't listen to anything my supervisor  had told me .  I made numerous errors much to my own disappointment and was dismissed from the job after three days.  I can't lie and say I am not thoroughly disgusted with myself.   At times, I feel I fail at whatever I try to attempt in this life..  I just don't understand it.  It's like my brain knows when I really want to exceed at something and then I just unconsciously go out of my way to fail at it.  What sucks, is that now I know the agency that helped me get this job will most likely not need "my services" any longer.  So that sucks a bit harder.  Anyway, I am kind of excited because I got cast in a play and although its more of a "theatrical event" then a play it's at least something.  Only problem is, it's far away and I need a place to stay so that's my obstacle at the moment.  So if I can get that settled, maybe when I do this play I can stop self-sabotaging myself. Soo I will keep everyone posted.  But like always, I'm thankful that (at the moment) I have my health, a roof over my head, and a mom that always supports me no matter what I do.  That's it for now.  Good Luck to all the job seekers out there!

AND ANOTHER THING!!!

Carl Palladino....I mean come on! Who is this person?  Is he really a person?  I feel like he is an SNL skit that has gone horribly horribly wrong. Who hasn't this guy offended?  I know the point of this blog is primarily to discuss my job search but I've seen and read sooo much crap about this guy.  If I had a choice between Carl Palladino and George Bush I would have to to choose former president Bush to be governor of our great state of New York. Palladino.... he's just like wow!  If he even gets elected over Cuomo I may be pack up and move.  Where? I don't know.  But I just might.  OK, this is totally unrealistic; but I would strongly consider it..and then eventually get over it.

First full week unemployed...

Sooooooo, I went to another interview today for an administrative assistant position.  It sucked.  The staffing company want me to still be a receptionist.  I just don't understand these people.  Because I never booked travel for my boss before?  Any person who has used a computer for over a week can book travel.  I don't know why it's a requirement.   I graduated from college in the recent past I'm not an idiot--- I can enter credit card numbers into a computer.  But, they did give me a few good tips re: my resume which I will use.  I don't even know why I'm this upset because I didn't really want the job.  It's in fashion.  I love fashion.  BUT I love television and the media more so maybe it's a blessing in disguise.  I  guess I just don't want to fucked with not having any money for Christmas.  However,  I wanted to quit my job because I didn't want to get stuck. So this is me not being stuck.  FUCK I'm really sick of sounding soooo boohoo my life is sooooo hard, because it's really not.  I'm just scared that I'm not going to find a job I want.

Leisure Time

Sooo after having a lot of fun time in "The City" these past couple of nights I decided today would be a relaxing day.  I'm most likely going to see either The Town or The Social Network but I'm leaning towards The Social Network.  Earlier today I saw a commercial for the movie, Burlesque, with Christina Aguilera and Cher.  As much as I hope the movie proves me wrong, it looks very "Glitter-esque".  I don't know, I'm all for musicals, but Burlesque doesn't look great.  Anyway, I  recently saw a clip of  writer, Amy Rhodes at a fun house on Ellen; and it's hysterical!!  I definitely needed a laugh and this was it.  Enjoy-----Amy Rhodes on Ellen

Moving Forward

So yesterday was an extremely productive day for me.  I went on a ton of interviews and I got called for another for Monday.  I'm still holding out for a Media job though, that's the dream.  However, I'm kind of confused at the moment.   Yes, the media job is the dream but it's a fairly recent dream.  When I was younger I had two big dreams of my life: becoming a working, well paid and very famous actress and owning my own clothing store simultaneously.  So yeah, I think a lot of people want to be famous when they're younger but I can't deny that I love to act and perform and think about both constantly.  It just so damn hard to get into that business and you have absolutely no control over your own career at the beginning (I'm starting to realize that I am a big control freak).  I now want to open my own business one day because I don't want to have to answer to somebody (unless I had a great boss-- which has happened about 3x in my life) It's just is now the right time to do it?  Acting and/or Media are just so based on youth more so than any other industry.  Do I take the leap now, do I still bust my ass and be dirt poor while I still pursue acting with the a chance of having nothing in the future, ro do I start shaping a more stable albeit slightly more boring life for myself so I can have money and stability and a solid future.  I suppose the question is.. Do I take a chance that can either equal extreme happiness or extreme failure or do I just go for something stable. I guess time will only tell....

My first day outta Jail!

So I am currently unemployed.  Clearly, as most bloggers are.  I had resigned from my job a little while ago and left my job on bad terms (more on that in a later post).  So I'm slightly concerned that my reputation will be tarnished in my field and with my former employees and staff members.  It's totally unfair.  But like I've learned early in life--life is "totally" unfair.  I feel very down.  Not because I miss my job---It was a toxic and high school-esque work environment.  But because I feel I am not in control of the situation.  I am not in control of how I am being presented by those people and it sucks.  But regardless, I just have to accept the situation and move on.  So where do I go from here is my biggest question.  My worry is that I won't get a job since these individuals are going out of their way to hurt me.  How can I move on from here?  I am applying to tons of jobs but in the end I just don't know what to do with my life.  I had always wanted to be an actor but that seems to be going nowhere. So my second choice, some type of media job. But these days, you need tons of experience for any entry level job (why is it called entry level if they ask for 2 years of experience? I don't know) I know other people have much bigger problems than this and thank God I have no mouths to feed but this is a crappy situation. It could be worse though, I could be at my old job.