Saturday, June 21, 2014

A Billion Years

It's been about a billion years since I've written on this blog.  A lot has happened, and nothing has happened.  I do not have a career in media or entertainment in any way, shape or form.  However, I have had a few close calls; which I royally fucked up.  A few flirts with realizing my dream, but alas, nothing has happened.  Well clearly, I've become so pretentious that I now write "alas" comfortably.  However, I've had a few jobs, but nothing that I love.

Don't get me wrong,  I know that I am blessed to have a job at all.  There are so many people that don't have a source of income.  But at the end of the day, I didn't move from my college town; leaving great friends, an amazing job, and a wonderful apartment, to be a secretary.  Nope. For sure, I moved to New York City to make something of myself and to be "someone".  And (I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with and.  But this isn't AP English, people. Get. Over. It.) that's going to happen.

So now that that's out of my system, I'm sitting here in Birch Coffee pondering my next move.  Currently, I work in education (more on that later) with some stints in finance (sooooo much more on that later) and real estate.  For awhile, I thought,  "Well, I like education.  Maybe I'll just settle on this and just deal with it. Work my way up, become a Dean or something (because clearly that's so just, 'oh, so easy', getting a PhD and all), and I'll be happy.  I'll have a decent life, steady work, perhaps have a family.  Then, if my kids want to go into entertainment we'll know what to do.  They'll be successful and it will all be OK."

But then, I discovered a college acquaintance of mine booked a lead in a Broadway show.  I was fanatically jealous. It was tough.  Although I didn't know this person too well, from what I did know, they are a good person.  Most of all, they're talented.  Why is that tough?  Well, when someone gets rewarded with something great, it's so much easier for me to call them a talentless creep behind their backs.  But this person deserves their success.  What can I say about myself?  Well, I've been directionless and lazy for a few (ummm 10?) years.  But now that's stopping.

I'm going to do this.  I'm going to act, sing, and write. It's going to be amazing.

But I'm over thirty.  I've never had a paid/ professional acting, singing or writing gig.  I still need to support myself with other work.  Have I mentioned I also have a chronic illness?  I also want my mom to stop helping me out with money (I know my life is so hard right?) and remember I'm lazy.  I'm so lazy it literally hurts.

So I'm going to use this blog as my gauge.  We're (haha as if anyone else reads this!!!) going to see where this year takes me.  I can only work and strive towards the best.

In my downtime though, there will be Soap Operas.

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