Sunday, August 17, 2014

So that's what you call 'em

When I was looking through some old Vogues the other day I realized I hadn't shared a very weird & awakard incident that occured a few months ago between me and some socialite.  A few months ago, I needed to get a replacement Bodum French Press from Sur la Table (I promise I am not getting any reimbursement of any kind from these two companies.  However, if they are willing to give me a reimbursement at some point I  will gladly take it) for my finiciky lesbian "holier than thou" then-roommate.  I broke her french press, and since I didn't want to piss off the bitch, I offered to replace it. So I went trailing off to the SoHo Sur La Table.  Ohhhhhhhhh SoHo.  It used to be cool, diverse and artsy.  But it's really just a bunch of young Upper East Side refugees pretending to be cool, diverse and artsy when they really just have sticks up their asses.  Back to the story;  I go into Sur La Table, go to the resgister and ask the sales person (a Cooler Than I'll Ever Be Asian Chick) to check and see if they have this specific size of french press.  As the CTIEBAC goes to the back, I wait at the register.  Another salesguy ( a somewhat overweight, but seemingly nice computer programmer type) starts ringing people up; and in enters anonymous socialite number 5467B (As if I'll ever give you the person's name.  But one hint, let's say she's all about safety). Now I've seen this socialite in Vogue and the New York Times a lot, and everyone talks about how her pedigree really isn't up to par.  Nevertheless, I figured because all of the shit she gets she would be a somewhat down to Earth person.  I never go up to celebrities (I'm not sure she's quite up to celebrity status, but still a noteworthy person) so I figured it might be ok to approach her.  Plus, I don't mean to toot my own horn here; but I'm a decent looking person, dress fairly well and could create full sentences. So, I figured it would be ok to say something to her.  So I was pretty much dead wrong on all of my accounts here.  I turn to her and say, "Hey aren't you that socialite?"  She bristles, does not look in my direction and doesn't respond.  I say "excuse me, aren't you that socialite?"  OF COURSE, at this point the CTIEBAC has returned to witness this mess of a situation I put myself in.  #5467B turns at me looks like she's about to cry, and yells "I AM A JEWELRY DESIGNER!!!"  I sheespishly say, "ohhh ok.  I just know that I see you in Vogue all of the time" to which #5467B giggles takes her things, looks me up & down in anger (because I dared to speak to her) and leaves.  I look at CTIEBAC and say "I didn't realize calling someone a socialite was an insult"  to which CTIEBAC looks at me and giving about an 1/8 of shit about the incident; informs me that the french press was not in stock.

I suppose jewelry designing has now replaced handbag designing as the go-to socialite make believe career.  Only in New York would someone have a problem with being called beautiful & rich. In some way I can respect #5467B for that.  But the bitch is confused, she's a socialite.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

The End is Near

This was probably a perfect summer.  We had only four days break over 90 degrees with little to no humidity.  It rained a normal amount and the weather was pretty much always beautiful.  It was wonderul.  Perhaps this was New York's reward for dealing with that awful Polar vortex.  I personally have a theory that there wasn't really ever a "Polar Vortex".  I think meteorologists didn't know what what the hell was going on, made up some crazy ass name for the freezing cold weather we were having, and then were generally shocked when people bought it. 

Anyway, I finished my second round of treatments for my undisclosed chronic illness.  I had to tell my job about it because I was just missing too much damn work.   They were understanding and seemed considerate so it really wasn't the worst thing in the world.

The friggin scariest thing happened to me this week, though. This old homeless geezer ran after me with a cane!  Ok, so yes, this may sound hysterical (and I'm sure I'll laugh about it at some point) but it was terrifying.  On my way out of my office building, he asked me to get him some food at the nearby diner.  I was on my way, felt white person guilt (even thought I'm black) and returned with a bagel. He was talking to some other girl, and I was like, "ummm here's your muffin." His response?   " I should punch you in your face!" He throws the muffin back at me, and starts yelling.  Both the girl and I walk away.  He then starts running after me cursing at me and yelling about how he should hit me, wiith his cane in the air.  Ok, let's first discuss that this asshole is running... WITHOUT USING HIS CANE.  Bastard. I scream back at him and then he walks away.  I was literally shaking when I walked back to my office.  I just feel so stupid. I never give things or interact with these types ever.  This was my first time doing anything like this.  Why on earth did I think it was ok do it now?  I just dont know.  It's so weird how these things can affect you though.  I watch when people on TV get attacked and it frightens me; but theres always a voice in the back of my head thinking "that will never happen to you." I suppoose it can happen to anyone.  But hey!  That's New York!

Right now I'm thinking "end on a positve note, end a positve note". Right now my new summer goals are to finish reading all of Shakespeare's comedies and watch every Academy Award best picture winner. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it.  But I can try!

Saturday, August 2, 2014


So I've been really out of commission lately.  I've just been busy doing nothing.  My chronic illness flared up and I had to cancel both my improv and film class this summer.  Disappointing, but I suppose worse things can happen.  I am really thrilled to be finally living in NYC and being on my own terms rather than living in the suburbs and living with my parents.  Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I am very well over the age of 18, but I just had to constantly tell them where I was  going and when I'll be back; and that's just annoying as an adult.  So I'm just glad to be in my studio.  
Anyway I really need this summer to be productive.  I've had to drop everything and I'm realizing now that the summer will literally be over in just a few short weeks.  Back to the daily grind, ya know?  So right now I'm going to try and focus on completing other goals and enjoying my summer. I'd really like to take a trip, even if its a little one before the summer is over.  I should also probably try and finish my VO demo.  I've been working on it an a half assed fashion for years now and I really should complete it.  Perhaps I should also read a book or two?  All in all, maybe for once I should just stop over analyzing and relax! 

Sunday, June 22, 2014


So today was improv.  I love improv.  Well I love it when the stars align, God likes me, and I am actually listening, being present, and coming up with decent ideas.  But then there are days when I'm just kind of an asshole in class.  Not listening, going out of my way to be funny (rather than letting it happen organically), and just being a general spaz.  Today was a mix of a good improv class and a bad improv class for me.  For some reason I'm acting like such a pussy in class, I don't go up first, and I don't make bold moves or choices.  Things have been not so great since I told some of my class members that I have been taking improv for awhile at a different theatre.  Since I'm now in somewhat of a beginning class right now (at a different theatre), I now feel an intense pressure to be the best or at least, good.  And I'm totally failing at it.  Whenever I'm feeling pressure my mind just goes blank.  Why can't I be a confident, relaxed, normal person like everyone else?  What the F (yes, I know I wrote pussy earlier) is wrong with me?  Hopefully I can get better as time goes on but it's going to take A LOT of practice.  Really it's my focus that's off.   Who knows, I didn't have coffee today, so maybe that's the reason why I'm a little off.  Anyway this is going to be "week - o -improv" with a lot of classes and shows, so maybe I'll be revitalized after that...or just exhausted!  Ironically, Aaliyah's, "Try Again"  is playing at The Coffee Bean right now, so maybe that's a sign!  Ok, now I'm just being lame.

Anyway, it seems the focus on my career is now underway.  I went to improv class, which is a woot woot, and I have a few more this week.  If I can focus, maybe thing will work out.

Oh, but how can I focus! There are some really great TV shows on right now!  Especially for the summer.  Right now, my new favorite is Chasing Life on ABC Family.  Why is it called ABC Family when it's really television for teenagers?  Well, I don't have an answer for that.  But most of their shows are awesome.  Anyway, this show, Chasing Life, is about this twenty something chick, April, who realizes she has cancer.  This annoys April because her life just recently became awesome: new job, hot new boyfriend, and family getting along.  The possibility of dying kind of freaks her out as well.  So April wants to keep the cancer a secret for as long as possible, but pretty soon she'll have to tell everyone.  I think I'm the most excited for this show because Scott Michael Foster is in it.  OK, so really I'm obsessed with any actor from the now defunct ABC Family show Greek.  So, I'm glad to see Foster on TV again.  Clearly, Chasing Life has become my new appointment television show. 

So guys, I'm going to go chase my own life and work on a few other things before I call it day!  It's been real. 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A Billion Years

It's been about a billion years since I've written on this blog.  A lot has happened, and nothing has happened.  I do not have a career in media or entertainment in any way, shape or form.  However, I have had a few close calls; which I royally fucked up.  A few flirts with realizing my dream, but alas, nothing has happened.  Well clearly, I've become so pretentious that I now write "alas" comfortably.  However, I've had a few jobs, but nothing that I love.

Don't get me wrong,  I know that I am blessed to have a job at all.  There are so many people that don't have a source of income.  But at the end of the day, I didn't move from my college town; leaving great friends, an amazing job, and a wonderful apartment, to be a secretary.  Nope. For sure, I moved to New York City to make something of myself and to be "someone".  And (I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with and.  But this isn't AP English, people. Get. Over. It.) that's going to happen.

So now that that's out of my system, I'm sitting here in Birch Coffee pondering my next move.  Currently, I work in education (more on that later) with some stints in finance (sooooo much more on that later) and real estate.  For awhile, I thought,  "Well, I like education.  Maybe I'll just settle on this and just deal with it. Work my way up, become a Dean or something (because clearly that's so just, 'oh, so easy', getting a PhD and all), and I'll be happy.  I'll have a decent life, steady work, perhaps have a family.  Then, if my kids want to go into entertainment we'll know what to do.  They'll be successful and it will all be OK."

But then, I discovered a college acquaintance of mine booked a lead in a Broadway show.  I was fanatically jealous. It was tough.  Although I didn't know this person too well, from what I did know, they are a good person.  Most of all, they're talented.  Why is that tough?  Well, when someone gets rewarded with something great, it's so much easier for me to call them a talentless creep behind their backs.  But this person deserves their success.  What can I say about myself?  Well, I've been directionless and lazy for a few (ummm 10?) years.  But now that's stopping.

I'm going to do this.  I'm going to act, sing, and write. It's going to be amazing.

But I'm over thirty.  I've never had a paid/ professional acting, singing or writing gig.  I still need to support myself with other work.  Have I mentioned I also have a chronic illness?  I also want my mom to stop helping me out with money (I know my life is so hard right?) and remember I'm lazy.  I'm so lazy it literally hurts.

So I'm going to use this blog as my gauge.  We're (haha as if anyone else reads this!!!) going to see where this year takes me.  I can only work and strive towards the best.

In my downtime though, there will be Soap Operas.